It's My Life

Day 11 of entry, N/A

I've finished my work, I've done it, for all these long 4 months I've been struggling waiting for the chance to finally start my work and finally, it's finish, IT'S FINISH. This work is worth continuing my chapter. Though I finished, I feel uneased, "Do I have the potential? Do I have the chance to be great? Do I have the right to become what I want?" I wished to continue but I'm worried, [I can't believe I'd said this] afraid later will be a long time, I'll stop doing this anymore 'till I'm truely finish school [sorry, I'm being exagurating..XD].

"They will see, the fight until eternity.
Come with me,
we'll stand and fight together.
Through our strength,
we'll make a better day,
tomorrow we,
shall never surrender.

--- Devil May Cry Vl"

I'm Gonna Finish This...

Day 10 of entry, yellowish sky during the late midnights.


After the whole two months of scribbling and inking, I've finally get the chance to start toning and it took me around one week to finish all 45 pages (though I still have 5 pages left to be done tomorrow). All these days I've been sleeping around 3 to 4am in the morning and even took a shower at 2am [well.. all these toning made me forgot to take one.. By the way, the sky is yellow during the dead night!!! I don't believe it!!!] I still manage to finish it in time to send it~ All that's left to be done is my characters' profiles and backgrounds, a cover for the manga, a dvd contains the manga in PSD and TIF format, and probably a summary just in case. After tomorrow I'm gonna go downtown and hang around and buy a present to some friend I owed for a few months XD. Wonder if I'll win the JMC.... I so hope to publish it fast!!

Here's a sample screenshot during toning:

Few days ago, Yourin dare me to write about him on my next blog, OK I DARE AND I'LL WRITE IT NOW. I can only say this..: "HEY BRO, IF YOU ARE LOOKING AT THIS NOW LEMME TELL YOU THIS, GIVE SOME HOPE FOR YOURSELF. I YOU STILL KEEP IT IN AND WAIT FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT, WHEN IS IT? YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW."

I'm going to his house for a PS2 Showdown [with the game] and I'll play Fatal Frame!!! And also bring the tortoise I owed him long ago.

And one more thing, I got a letter from The One Academy and it says I'm one of the successful participant who pass the qualifying challenge [There's a competition of the movie Wall-E ans it's about giving Eve the best gift] and I'll be going to the final round there on the 6th of December. I'll need to find out where do I put that box of soft pastels....

Satan's Alley from Tropic Thunder

Day 9 of entry, pleasant day.

Watched Tropic Thunder yesterday, the movie was quite boring though but the fake trailer they made was awesome, even better than the film itself!! Pne of the best ones is "Satan's Alley" starred by "5 time Academy Award Winner Kirk Lazarus" aka Downey Jr. from Iron Man and "MTV Best Kiss Awards" Tobey Maguire from Spider Man XD. Looking at them holding hands just kills, so wish that it's a real movie. It could be the best gay movie in the same lavel with Brokeback Mountain!! When the first time I saw Tobey in this trailer I was S.H.O.C.K . He was so cute in the trailer and the "Best Kiss Award"?? OMG the character he plays really suits him and I say he would be the BEST "uke" character in history~~!!

Goodbye, Old-Timer

Day 8 of entry, stressful summer.


I thought about my grandmother again in my teacher's car. I was still a kid back then when I don't know why she was sent to the hospital. The nurse said she was sick and we have to pray hard for her being better. Seeing her being pushed into the emergency room and the door just shut suddenly and prevented us for going in, I realized, she was dying. I was so stupid that I figured out later, they won't tell me anything that my grandmother is dying. That's the first time I cried so hard, so hard that I wished even the slight chance for her not to go away. She past away in the end, died peacefully. I can't believe she's gone, gone and I'll never see her old smile ever again. I don't have the appetite for supper while they bought instant cup noodles for a midnight snack. They still have a mind for food while the death of my grandmother. I miss accompanying her up the stairs. I miss going for a walk with her at the park in the morning. I miss her taking me for a ride in my grandfather's car. I miss everything. Three months later, I asked my cousin how my grandmother died when I finally get the chance to ask, she said it was me. --- I'm the one who made her past away. Around a year before she died, I got sick and she caught the sickness(on what she thinks). Few years ago when I started to think straight, she died as it was her time, her time of living is already up. The first and last time I felt her was a few months ago, when I smelled a very old scent in the master bedroom, which was hers before she past away.

The holiday is up now, and I still have piles of assignments to do, I have to go back to that lousy school of the picky and snobbish head mistress for rehersals, finish my manga works, and help my teacher in her new tuition centre. She will stop teaching our school next year and open her business in her new centre, she asked me to help her out by decorating and she'll fetch me there and fetch me back ('cuz the place was damn far from my house) yet giving me free food supplies XD. She asked about my works in the car and I told her I have a part-time job teaching a kid "so-called" cartoon drawing, she said I made a good use of my talents and advised my to post my works on the newspapers. "Talent" she said. If my manga and art skill is a talent, why do I feel it's destroying my life though I liked it so much??

By the way, here's a sample of my artworks which I promised to post it on. It's a sample though and it's not done yet, I have to put on screen-tones and add speech bubbles. hope to finish it fast so I can send it off.

Ah.. the fuss

Day 7 of entry, crappy days.


I've finished 24 pages, about 16 pages to go.. miserable now, usually I'm the one who lend people a shoulder but now I need one to lean on. Why am I frustrated?? Ah, I'm so screwed...


---"Cross, hang on."